Must Love Cats

A couple of months ago I decided to try online dating.
I’d tried it a few years ago and was pretty successful.
I met a couple of oddballs, but there were also a few winners.

I met my friend Tex online and I hate the fact that he lives all the way in Texas because that man is BEAUTIFUL and he is definite proof that they grow them big in Texas. Our only issue was that we were geographically challenged and agreed that it would be best to not pursue a relationship. We’re still friends and catch up occasionally.

This time around wasn’t so promising and I cancelled my membership at the beginning of my third month.
Two days before my membership was to expire, a man sent a message that caught my attention and after browsing his photos I decided to respond. He had a smooth, chocolate complexion, a bald head, a strong jaw line, with a mustache and goatee and a beautiful white smile with dimples to complement his smile.
His name was Thomas.
We exchanged messages on the site for the next two days and on the last day of my membership I felt comfortable enough, took a chance and gave him my personal email address.

Everything was going great.
We emailed each other for about two weeks and I felt it was time to give up the digits. He was surprised because in my online profile I clearly stated that I will not exchange phone numbers right away and he told me he wasn’t going to ask or push.
We talked and emailed several times a day. I couldn’t have been happier. Thomas said all of the right things and from what I could tell was everything I wanted in a man.

We were talking on the phone late Sunday afternoon.
I didn’t call him because I know he goes to early service and he knows that I go to eleven a.m. service, so he called when he thought I’d be home and situated.
As we were talking, he was puttering around his house, taking care of chores.
He walked outside. I could tell because I could hear the sounds of his neighborhood.
One thing I heard clearly was the meow of a cat.
When I heard it a second time, I asked if that was really a cat I was hearing.
He said that it was and explained that it was a neighborhood stray that benefits from the kindness of residents on the street.
I breathed a sigh of relief.

I hate cats.

Yes, I said it. All you feline friendly people out there can “boo” all you want, but I hate cats.

The truth is that I am severely allergic to cats and other animals with fur and dander, but I seem to have the most severe reaction to cats and cats seem to know this as soon as I enter a room.
They sidle up to my leg, purring and meowing, like they’re all sweet and loveable, but what’s really going on is they’ve told their other cat buddy, “We got another one Morris! Watch me make this lady start wheezing and sneezing. Let’s see how fast we can get her up outta here.”

Thomas began to describe the cat and how cute he was.

I told him that I thought cats were cute, but explained to him that I am allergic.

“You can take a pill,” Thomas noted.

“No, I can’t,” I plainly stated.

“Really, you can,” He began, but I interrupted him and told him about my adventures in Phoenix when I went to help Jelly Bean plan her baby shower and how she has cats and kept coercing me into her condo.
The first couple of times weren’t that bad; a little sneezing and itchy throat, but the third time I entered her den of dander I felt my throat tighten and my lungs constrict and then I started wheezing.
I was traumatized and refused to cross her threshold again.
I then went on to share with Thomas two other Cat catastrophes.

“But what if I wanted to get a cat?” Thomas asked.

“I guess it was nice knowing you.”

“You wouldn’t take a pill for me… For us?”

“Nope.”

“Really? We can’t come to some sort of compromise?” Thomas pleaded.

“What kind of compromise would there be?” I questioned. “You don’t have a cat, you know that I have severe allergies, yet you want me to take a pill or get a shot so that you could GET a cat?”

“Yes,” He sheepishly replied.

I had to stop and ask him if he was serious because Thomas and I had a tendency to joke with one another often. When he made it clear that he was serious and that he couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take a pill for his hypothetical cat, my whole attitude changed.

“What if I was allergic to your dog?” Thomas argued.

“She’s hypoallergenic!” I exclaimed.

“But what if she wasn’t.”

“I’ve had Zoe for seven years; long before I met you. I wouldn’t get rid of a member of my family. If you had an allergy to dogs upon meeting me, then I guess you would have to decide if you wanted to be with me, but we’re talking about a dog that exists. You’re talking about a cat that you don’t even own yet.”

“Yes, but I want to get a cat one day. I really like cats,” Thomas proclaimed.

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this and I thought it had to be a joke.
Was I getting punked?

This so totally reminded me of the eharmony girl who in her profile video proclaimed her love for cats.
This couldn’t be happening, I thought.

We both got quiet. There was an awkward silence.

His son entered the room and asked him a question. He used that as an excuse to get off of the phone and told me that he would call me back.

That was Sunday afternoon.

By Tuesday afternoon I was fed up and pissed off.

Was he really mad at me over a hypothetical cat?

I told William and Chola what happened and they both cracked up over my cat conundrum.
I explained that I had called Thomas once and sent him two emails. I’d heard nothing from him since Sunday.

“I don’t trust a man that likes cats anyway,” William said, sounding suspicious.

As we talked, I was inspired to send Thomas the link to the youtube video of cat girl. I figure, he really likes cats and she really likes cats… maybe it would be a match made in cat heaven!

“If you send that video you know it’s over,” William declared.

“I haven’t heard from him in two days, William. We used to talk every day, several times a day. I sent him an email asking him what was wrong and practically begged him to talk to me. Clearly, it's over.”

I hung up the phone with William and copied and pasted the link in an email to Thomas.

The subject heading read, “She Likes Cats” and in the body of the email I wrote, Enjoy… You two just might be made for each other.”
I finally got a response.

Want to see Cat Girl for yourself? Click the link below and enjoy!
She Really Loves Cats http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc