Id, Ego and Super Ego

This week, yet another politician has learned that maybe it would have been a smart move to keep his Weiner in his pants and several weeks before him came the surprising revelation that the Governor of California had a love child and kept his mistress in plain sight for a number of years.
A southern Bishop recently settled a multi-million dollar suit where it was alleged that he had inappropriate contact with male members of his congregation and another New York State Congressman resigned after shirtless photos surfaced that he had sent to a woman he was communicating with on a Classifieds website.
And let us not forget, mes amies, the French dignitary and head of an international trade organization that was arrested and charged with allegedly sexually assaulting a New York City chamber maid.
Each of these men is married and has families.

While watching a morning news program, a certain charming Greek news anchor was discussing why so many politicians, Heads of State, CEO’s and even members of the clergy have been caught in compromising positions and why they even put themselves in those positions in the first place.
He chose a word that accurately describes the dominating characteristic of men in power; Hubris. Wikipedia defines Hubris as, “Extreme haughtiness, pride or arrogance. Hubris often indicates a loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one's own competence or capabilities, especially when the person exhibiting it is in a position of power.”
I sat up in my bed, nodding my head in total agreement and shouted, “Amen”.

My career has exposed me to all types of people in all sorts of careers. I have never been one to exalt any man or woman because what I’ve learned through my encounters is that celebrities, Senators, athletes and artists are humans JUST like you and me. They are mortals, not gods and they all have the same issues as we do (sometimes more). And contrary to what some of them may believe their shit does stink (which I discovered after entering a unisex bathroom after an R&B artist I’d just interviewed had exited).

The quote, “politics makes strange bedfellows” is fitting when it comes to my former relationship with Mr. Goodbar. He and I had an unusual relationship.
Devoted readers of my blog know that I met Mr. Goodbar while he was working for a politician who, at the time, had recently been appointed to a high ranking state position following the resignation of his predecessor who liked to mingle in the Mayflower.
The vertically challenged official made a preemptive strike by airing “most of” his dirty laundry before the media had an opportunity to dig anything up. His address to the media and his constituents was spoken in the past tense, but I later discovered his past wasn’t dead.

Mr. Goodbar reported directly to this particular politician and had worked for him for a number of years. They had a close bond and there was a strong trust between the two of them. Mr. Goodbar was extremely dedicated and devoted to his boss and was deeply appreciative for the opportunities that were given to him.
He would find out later on that the love they shared for one another was not unconditional.
While on the road, Mr. Goodbar always stayed in an adjoining hotel room to his boss. I never quite understood the purpose of that and it made me uncomfortable knowing that a door divided the two rooms, especially when I was visiting him.

One evening, Mr. Goodbar and I were sitting on his bed, talking about our days and catching up with each other after not seeing each other for several weeks.
As I was filling him in on my life I heard in the distance what sounded like moans. I ignored it and kept chatting.
It was now Mr. Goodbar’s turn to share what had been going on in his world. He sat on his bed, propped up by two pillows and his hands tucked behind his head. I was sitting on the side of the bed, next to him, looking down into those big brown eyes and his unfairly long lashes.
I heard it again… this time even louder, “Ohhh, ohhhh, OHHHHHH!”
Mr. Goodbar kept talking, “OHHHHHHHHH,” the female voice sang.
Mr. Goodbar kept chatting, didn’t blink and didn’t skip a beat.

Okay, if he wasn’t going to say anything, I wasn’t either, but the next morning I made a discovery that was troubling to me and needed to be addressed.
I had gone down to the restaurant to get breakfast while Mr. Goodbar had a briefing with his boss.
I returned to the room to pack my things and discovered the adjoining door was open. Curiosity got the best of me and I poked my head into the other room just to take a peek.
I went back into our room and continued gathering my things. As I was tossing a receipt into the wastebasket, something shiny caught my eye. I looked into the wastebasket to find a juice bottle and underneath that, a satin nightgown with lace trim. My heart skipped a beat and I pulled the negligee out of the garbage. There was an overwhelming aroma; a combination of sweat, sex and perfume.
Somebody had a good time.
I inspected the label, not sure what I was going to find, but what I learned was the diminutive Democrat was into bigger women. The lingerie was an extra-large.

Mr. Goodbar returned to our room after his meeting and I couldn’t help myself. I had to say something.
“Babe, I was packing and throwing out some things and I found a nightgown in the garbage can. I’m not really sure what to think.”

“Don’t worry sweetie, it’s nothing for you to be upset about”, He tried to assure me.

“It’s a nightgown”, I repeated.

“Sweetie, listen… Sometimes my job requires me to look after my boss and clean up after him.” He went on to explain his loyalty to his boss and some other things about what goes on behind closed doors, but I can’t even remember everything he said because I was too astonished by what I was hearing and personally experiencing.
I mean, here I was with a salmon nightgown version of the infamous blue dress. Granted, Mr. Goodbar’s boss wasn’t the President of the United States, but this was too much for me.

A year later, Mr. Goodbar’s loyalty to his boss didn’t account for much when he found himself the center of an investigation.
His boss basically distanced himself from Mr. Goodbar and left him to deal with his crisis alone.
My heart broke for Mr. Goodbar and I did my best to support him emotionally, but since we lived in different cities, I wasn’t able to really be there for him.

Mr. Goodbar’s Hubris had gotten in his way and of course his troubles centered around a woman. I don’t really know the circumstances surrounding his case. All I have is his side of the story.
I was upset as well, because people who knew me and knew that I was involved with Mr. Goodbar looked at me with pity.
He and I were not in a committed relationship, so what he did when he was away from me was his business. I just didn’t want people thinking that I was the “other woman”.
One of my favorite new television shows is “The Good Wife”, a series about a woman whose husband is a politician and gets caught up in a sex scandal. She struggles emotionally with the embarrassment of her husband’s public humiliation and whether or not she wants to stay in her marriage.
Had Mr. Goodbar and I been in a committed relationship, I don’t know whether I would have been able to stand by my man as some politician’s wives have done.

I had a conversation with a male friend last week about men and monogamy. He cited several high profile incidents of adultery by athletes, politicians and religious leaders. I explained to him that they are all men in powerful positions and have taken advantage of the concessions given to them, the exaltation by their constituents and the influence they have over others. Women will throw their panties at them, men will bow down to them and at some point they feel as if they are above the law.

I am not one to judge anyone and what they do behind closed doors.
I just think that when you are in a high profile position or have a job where your morals and values may come into question, it might be wise to think before you act.

As you know, my relationship with Mr. Goodbar did not end on a high note (Flipping the Script, 10/21/10). I was not his Carrie and he was not my Mr. Big.

Call it ego, Hubris or just plain horny, we haven’t heard the last of political sex scandals. A female politician tweeted plainly to her fellow colleagues, “Just keep it in your pants”.